You know when Target begins selling a line of adult toys based on a movie, the world as we have known it no longer exists.  I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey.  Not that I don’t love a good juicy book, but I think my parents were too fond of corporal punishment for me to ever find EL James’ brand of romance appealing.  I won’t go see the movie either because I hate chick flicks.  I always have.  They don’t have enough twists and turns to keep me interested.  My confession today, however, is that I am jealous as hell of EL James and her success.  It doesn’t matter if I read her book or go to her movie; millions and millions of others have already filled my spot.  It’s her complete and utter success as a self-publisher that has me peeved.  Who among us hasn’t dreamed of that kind of success?  When I watched a story about Reese Witherspoon talk on how she reads tons of books by women about women and chooses which ones to turn into a movie, my heart jumped.  I mean, I’m a woman.  I write about women.  Sure, sometimes the women are ghosts, but they’re still women, right?  Why couldn’t Reese Witherspoon pick up one of my books and be utterly fascinated?  Even more, what’s stopping Princess Kate (I sell well in England) from reading one of my books and saying casually in an interview that I’m her favorite author?  If she can cause a dress to be sold out in 45 minutes, imagine what she could do for my books.  I was so jealous of EL James that I toyed with the idea of writing erotica.  Then I realized that erotica doesn’t usually involve historical characters or a dead sister giving you advice from the beyond or an evil old witch placing a curse on innocent children.  Unless I can create a whole new genre of paranormal, kind of creepy erotica, I think my career as an erotic writer can’t get off the ground.  I wish I could say that I hope the best for EL James.  I wish I was a better person.  That green-eyed monster is a powerful thing, though.  My hope is to someday make some other frustrated writer as jealous as I am today.